Isn’t that interesting, honey? Yep. Mind-numbingly interesting. Whoa. Bender! Are you looking at other women? No, baby, never! Bender! Don’t lie! I saw you at Elzar’s with those two ladies of the evening! Explain that! Okay. I like a challenge. I’m going to be completely honest with you, Planet Express Ship. Those women you saw me with were my accountants. Your accountants? I would dearly love to believe that were true. So I do. I’m gonna go home and get dinner started. Who were you talking to? No one, baby.
Oh, no, please, I beg you. For the. I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan, at your service. Please, we need you go get our daughter back! I’ll clean up Kif’s mess. I shall go bargain with the Martians personally. Your gasps intrigue me. Martians have no land. They been encouraged to live on reservation underground. No one ever dare go there. This mission is very dangerous! Someone’s sure to be killed! Fry? Leela? Bender? Damn you, old man! I didn’t realize you were bringing your girlfriend, lieutenant.
Torture with the clamps or a clamp-like device? No. We are gonna sit tight and see if he wins the poker tournament. He does, that proves he’s packing my lucky foot, in which event. Or a clamp-like device. Welcome viewers who fell asleep with the TV on! It’s the 3009 no-limit hold’em championship. of Penn Jillette, and here with a color commentary, my partner Teller. Our act really didn’t change much when he died. Pardon me, I’m new to this game. enough for all your money? Bender? Oh, boogers.
We get to spend time with this Mr. Kif. I hope he’s a nice man who can make grandchildren. This not a parallel universe where you get younger. Remember, the quickest way to a girl’s bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you’re in. I’m nervous about meeting her family. That’s natural. You’re meek and uninteresting. You’ve gotten by on my leftover charisma. Scrounging off it, like a tiny parasite. Why wouldn’t they? Yes, I know. Tiny, meek, uninteresting. Spare me your tedious story, Kif.
The loot! The loot is on fire! Leela, my precious rock dove! Everyone, to the fire door! It’s on fire! We’re trapped, my sweet hippopotamus! Where are we, Pops? What happened to the food? I think we were saved by a mysterious orange blur. Welcome, one and all! I finally figured out how money could make me happy… by using it to buy my hungry friends Hooray! Everyone join us. Oysters Rockefeller here has provided genuine turkey dogs. Heck, you’re never too rich to enjoy a free turkey dog.
Are you worthy of membership in the League? Worthier than the average robot. Then prove it. Upon each step is a test. Okay, but if it’s culturally biased, I’m suing your ass. Test number one. The test of the beer mug! Quite right, quite so. Drink the mug! Drink the mug! I accept your challenge. Hurray! The test of the flagon! Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon! Are all the tests going to involve drinking? It never occurred to me before, but yes. Just give me one more. Oh, no. The test of the infinitely priceless Presenting our newest member.
Am I the only one who thinks this is all a sham? This isn’t heaven. and makes us immortal, which I find suspicious. Allow me to explain. Centuries ago, I sent an image of myself into the minds of your artists. The heavenly clouds they painted depict a vapor I exude. I wish I exuded anything Then what about these angels? Some kind of Scooby Doo-esque flashlight projection? those are mindless jakabirds. They keep my surface free of parasitic larvae. You didn’t like Country Bear Jamboree either, Leela.